Against the Tide: Unleashing My Inner Strength and Letting Go

As I reflect on my recent 10km kayak challenge in the Berg River, I’m still trying to process the rollercoaster of emotions I experienced. The journey was a testament to my physical and mental limits, pushing me to dig deeper than I ever thought possible. But it was also a journey of letting go – letting go of fear, self-doubt, and limitation

The conditions were far from ideal – a strong headwind and incoming tide made every stroke a battle. I was paddling an unsuitable kayak, one that is more suitable to fishing and stability than speed and agility. I yelled, screamed and ugly-cried in frustration through the first half of the ten kilometres, wondering why on earth I’d signed up for this torture.

But as the kilometres ticked by, something shifted within me. I remembered the hours of training, the sacrifices I’d made, and the reasons why I’d set out to complete this challenge in the first place. I recalled the words of encouragement from loved ones, the early morning training sessions, and the quiet moments of self-doubt.

I realized that this journey was never just about finishing a kayak challenge – it was about discovering my inner strength, grit, and resilience. It was about letting go of my need for control and perfection, and embracing the uncertainty of the journey.

As I paddled on, I encountered two angels in human form who guided and protected me through the toughest stretches. Their words of encouragement, expert advice, and unwavering support helped me stay focused and motivated, even when the darkness closed in.

But it was in the moments of solitude on the water that I discovered the true power of surrender. It was during moments of profound stillness, that I remembered  to reconnect with my breath, my body, and my inner self.

When I had to dig deep about three quarters into the race,  I held on to my breathe-work practice. Feeling the air fill my lungs on large inhales, and with every exhale, tension, fear, and self doubt, slowly left my being. 

This new vigour lasted a short while though, and  just as I thought I was nearing the end, a wave of deep darkness washed over me. The wind picked up, the tide grew stronger, and I felt like I was paddling through quicksand. I wanted to give up, to let the currents carry me back to shore.

But something within me refused to surrender. I remembered the words of encouragement, the training, and the sacrifices. I remembered why I’d started this journey in the first place – to discover my inner strength, to push beyond my limits, and to let go of what was holding me back.

And then, like a beacon of hope, I saw it – the finish line, shining brightly in the distance. A surge of adrenaline coursed through my veins, and with one final burst of energy, I crossed the line, exhausted, elated, and overwhelmed with gratitude.

As I looked back on the journey, I realised that I’d discovered something far more valuable than a medal or a trophy – I had uncovered my own inner strength, grit, and resilience. I’d learned that even in the darkest moments, there’s always a spark of hope, a light that guides us forward.

And I’d discovered that with the right mindset, support, and determination, I can overcome even the most daunting challenges. I was once again reminded to let go of fear, doubt, and limitation, and to trust in my own inner warrior.

The journey was never just about finishing a kayak challenge – it was about unleashing my inner strength, and letting go of what was holding me back.